The dog catcher called in sick.
I'm certain it's a paid "called in sick.
Winston, the little gay dog, is scared shitless though.
Aside from being traumatized by the Tybee Island Police Department, it's Judicial System, a political system that only loves feral cats and hates coyotes, the poor little thing had his balls whacked off last week.
I have them in a baggie.
They are "Exhibit A" for Judge Harry S (wasn't he a porn star in the 1980s?) who made it perfectly clear last time we were in court that he sides with tattoo covered officers and will not tolerate barking gay dogs.
(I don't remember a Harry S in the 1980's porn movies doing gay stuff but there is a lot of the 80's I don't remember.)
So I have Winston's, the little gay dog, balls in a baggie to demonstrate we've done everything possible to keep him quiet.
If that doesn't get Judge Harry S off, I don't know what will.
Anyway, I walked inside the Tybee Courtroom which is inside a large garage, to be greeted by a small tattooed, skin head officer demanding I empty my pockets so he could wave his wand at me. Throwing my keys, phone, money, Winston's, the little gay dog, balls in a baggie in the dish, he had his way with me and then I was allowed inside the court ... which was packed.
Then Goddess and Winston's, the little gay dog's, attorney informed me that I'd have to come back in two weeks.
It's Tybee. It's an island. What do you do?
The Tybee Judicial system is slow. For the third time because Harry S demands it, a uniformed, wand waving tattooed Skin head with a badge gets to do me again.
Winston, the little gay dog, remains traumatized for another two weeks because of the anti-gay profiling that takes place on this island.
I'm not sure how Goddess feels about it all. She's passed out and snoring though there is one brownie left.
I'm thinking about calling a puppy psychiatrist because I don't think Winston, the little gay dog, can continue to cope under this pressure. He shakes, refuses to go outside alone, sleeps under the bed, has lost weight and the frequency of licking himself has significantly increased.
Besides I'm worried that the girls might mistake Winston's, the little gay dog, balls in a baggie for Fireballs. Sarah would go nuts if she walked in and the girls had a jaw poking out on one side and found an empty baggie on the floor.
I guess we'll find out how this ends in another two weeks.
