All we've got

Running the beach, massive purple clouds hang low over the gray high tide seas, clustered with surfers riding to shore. Families comb for shells, ladies power walk and children run in the surf. A crowd's gathered around the turtle tracks of the Loggerhead who hauled herself to the base of the sand dunes to lay last night. Large cargo ships make their way into the distance heading for China.

Darting through these things I run, marginally aware of the beauty surrounding me. I'm thinking about my Guardian Angel.

Lots of people believe in Guardian Angels but hardly anybody seriously thinks about them.

I don't just think about mine.

I worry about her!

She's been on double over time ever since having the incredible misfortunate of drawing me as her assignment.

The inventory is too long but it includes two car crashes that should have killed me, a gun stuck in my stomach failed to fire and a deranged homeless man came after me with a baseball bat during the sermon I was preaching. Throw in failed loves, recovery from divorces, shepherding my kids through really tough times and a drastic career change and my Angel's been incredibly busy.

I know I'm speaking in anthropomophric language but I paid thousands of dollars to go to Seminary to make a "C" in Greek and learn that word. It means "human form." We think about God in human form. God's an old man with a white beard in the sky. God has angels with wings to help get things done. God came to earth as a man. Heaven is filled with people who died, were buried but now they're people again.

I got to wondering what my Guardian Angel looked like and a few weeks ago shared it.

She's one beat up Cherub! I've put her through shit repeatedly. Once beautiful, she now looks like a Meth addict! I've driven her to smoke, drink and cuss. Her robes are dirty and ripped from keeping me here. One of her wings doesn't work. I make her believe Hell is real and she personally thinks I should go there now.

That's what she should look like.

What strikes me as I make my way through the loveliness of the beach today is that I really shouldn't be here. I should be dead at least three times now. Lost love, betrayal, disruption, the unexpected deaths of people I loved so deeply, problems, depression and such should have all done me in by now.

But they didn't.

I'm still here by the grace of God and a bloody and battered Guardian Angel.

And I'm here for reasons I don't always understand but I keep working to figure them out.

Lots of people like when I write about my Guardian Angel. I think it reminds them of theirs. The shit I've put mine through relates to experiences they've had.

By the grace of God, we're still here today. We've got each other and that's all we've got ... today and each other. Perhaps if we try hard enough, we'll find God too in human form. Maybe we'll even find our Guardian Angels and take care of them like they take care of us.

Anyway ... that's what I'm doing today.

What are you doing?
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