It's Deja Vu, being part of a family with younger children.Last night at dinner, one wanted nothing to do with what had been cooked, little to do with us but had very definite opinions about me.
She prepares her own meal while Sarah and I eat, joins us when we're done, and pans my approach to several things.
After a futile attempt at dialogue I give up and sit silently with the growing realization that "I've been here before."
It's a place I never dreamed I'd be again, though here I sit.
Each of my kids uncomfortably passed through adolescence, raging out of control hormones, unchecked emotions, discovering themselves at the expense of others, rebelling at any and all authority while squeezing pimples and mastering pubic hair.
Most parents survive their kids adolescence and swear to never do again ... opting to wait on grandchildren who they may enjoy when they're pleasant and leave when they're not.
Something inside of us helps us forget the pains of growing up and remember the good times.
Though last night, many of the unpleasant memories of raising my kids flooded back sitting at the table trying to enjoy the tension.
The good news is I'm experienced and a proven survivor of overseeing adolescence. Making it better, now I'm primarily an advisor and occasional participant in the actual oversight of teen angst.
The things I do out of love go largely unnoticed or are simply expected. Words I speak or advice I offer are easily dismissed or construed as criticism. Being in the same room is often little more than sharing space. Love seems to be a one way street.
I've been here before and this time don't take it as personal.
Yet there are moments ... she lays her head on my shoulder ... she HAS to talk to me and not any one else ... she tells me I give the best advice ... we share things that only the two of us share ... Super Nova moments of love making it all worthwhile somehow.
In the end I know she'll grow up great ... and I'll survive again ... and everything will be alright.
It's Deja Vu ... literally ... all over again.
