I used to go to lots of other places but ... they're too far ... so I don't go anymore.
Besides you can get a B.U.I. on island ... Bicycling Under the Influence ... Yep ... there's nothing you can't be ticketed for on Tybee.
I do spend most of my time on the Beloved Back Deck where's it's peaceful and quiet ... except on Wednesday's at noon when the City interrupts everyone's lunch with an emergency warning that a Hurricane might come ... which is like the stupidest waste of money ever!
Islanders can learn for free that a Hurricane's coming by watching The Weather Network ... or if they really want to guess what's going to happen ... Pat Prokop on WTOC ... but that's too efficient so the City of Tybee spends a gazillion dollars interrupting everyone's lunch on Wednesdays.
"WARNING ... WARNING ... THIS IS NOT AN EMERGENCY ... BUT IF IT WERE ONE ... YOU SHOULD LEAVE ... YOU'LL PROBABLY BE TICKETED ... BUT THAT'S IN OUR BEST INTEREST ... WHEN A REAL EMERGENCY HAPPENS ... WE'LL LET YOU KNOW ... IN THE MEANTIME ... DISREGUARD THIS MESSAGE ... UNTIL NEXT WEDNESDAY ... WHEN YOU WILL BE TICKETED!"
Making it more efficient, we receive a phone call Wednesday mornings informing us that a fake Hurricane announcement is taking place at noon and we shouldn't be alarmed.
I don't know who thought of this but ... they should be ducted taped in a boat ... shoved out to Sea in a storm ... ticked by the Tybee Island Police Department like everybody else (except elected officials) on the way ... and eaten by sharks.
Though the sharks will probably puke them up on the beach and somebody will get a ticket.
There you go ... I've written about it so ... I'm taking the dogs downstairs and waiting on the police ... for my ticket ... for dog barking ... or avoiding a Hurricane when it's not Hurricane Season ... or whatev's.
Sarah got her hair cut yesterday bringing out her beautiful Gypsy soul ... which is stunningly beautiful for a Southern white boy ... not you Whitley Reynolds ... ME!
Alright ... I can say lots more but like our friend Joanie Woodcock ... I am biting my tongue till it bleeds ... because some things are better left unsaid.
Especially when Government's involved.
Or the Police Department ... which finances Government.
I'm done ... and off to The Breakfast Club for more coffee ... practicing for Monty Park's jam ... and figuring out Bar Church for next Sunday.
Oh!
Duck!
A Hurricane's not coming!
