Micheal Elliott Revised Not-So-Standard Version
1. In the beginning the earth was void and without form. It was dark and wet and thus saith the Lord, "It sucks!"
2. And God said, "It needs sun!" and a big yellow ball bubbled out of the ocean and the water was blue. And God put on sunglasses and said, "Looks good. Nice day!" And where the sun did not shine God called it "Night" so that people would have a place to park and make out.
3. And God said, "It needs sky and since blue is God's favorite color the sky was blue. And it was dry and water was wet. And this was the first day and night.
4. And God said, "Needs a beach." So the water was gathered into the sea and behold, there was sand. And God saw that it was good.
5. And God said, "Needs Palm Trees! Mangos and fruits with seeds!" And it was so. The Palm Trees produced coconuts and the other trees bore oranges, lemons, bananas and other fruits to make Tropical Drinks with little umbrellas. And God saw that it was good. And there was a cool evening and warm sunny morning and that was the third day.
7. And God said, "Needs fish." And there were fish, dolphins, sharks and for a laugh, jellyfish. And on the beach there were lizards, sand crabs for kids to chase and boiled peanuts. And in the sky there were pelicans and seagulls. And God saw that it was starting to look really cool.
8. And God said, "Needs people." So God created a dude and a babe placing them on the beach. And they strolled hand in hand in the surf, enjoying the water, the dolphins, the seagulls, the fruit drinks and the geckos. And when they started making out God said, "It is good."
9. And God gave a thumbs up and commanded unto them, "Have fun kids! Enjoy! And try not to screw it up."
10. And God saw all that was made and it was very good! So he opened a beer and sat in a beach chair and God said, "I need a day off."
