Monday, January 18, 2016

Story Time is Over

It has been brought to my attention ... on Facebook ... by Wen McNally ... and not refuted by Joey Finch ... that I never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.

I paid good money to learn this truth at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary ... in and of itself ... not a particularly great bastion of truth ... though it's "marketing" of having the truth cornered is excellent ... that telling stories is the best way to convey the truth.

Does that sound confusing?

Well it is.

I spent ungodly amounts of money going to the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary to finally understand ... from Dr. Allan Graves ... is ... if you're sitting in the chair in the pulpit keep your socks pulled up ... lest woman parishioners be tempted by the flesh ... or male parishioners too though the Baptists condemn such temptation as an abomination.

The way you get around such abominations is to tell a good story and not let the truth stand in the way!

The greatest example of this are televangelists.

It doesn't matter which one ... pick one ... Oral Roberts to Benny Hinn ... they make up tons of stuff to tell a good story!

If these guys really told the truth there wouldn't be any hospitals, Nursing Homes or Obama Care.

Hell! Benny Hinn alone can heal the entire nation's sickness on a Tuesday afternoon before flying his private jet to his Golf game with the front runners of the Republican Party!

I could have been one of these guys but ... alas ... I opted for "Faith Healing" classes instead of televangelism.

I figured there was more money in it.

Everything was going fine until the final when the Professor gave me a guy with hemorrhoids to heal.

"I ain't laying my hands on that!" I shriek.

I got close enough to earn a "C" in the class and the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary "threw me out."

So I don't know where Wen McNally gets off claiming I bend the truth for the sake of a good story.

And Joey and I go so far back that we have no idea how far back we go BUT ... if you go to our High School Annual ... there we are ... handsome and side-by-side ... just like we are now.

Oh yeah ... and The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary got it all wrong about Gay people!

That is the truth.

I have to go now.

Sarah's telling me story time is over.