Friday, August 21, 2015

Jesus in the Night

Peacefully sleeping cuddled with my wife my eyes pop open when the sharp pain shoots through my ear.

"JESUS," I pray in agony sticking my index finger inside the hole on the right side of my face.

It feels moist, pops and everything seems fine.

Resuming the cuddling position I immediately fall back asleep.

"HOLY JESUS!" I cry out 37 minutes later as the pain returns and something's leaking out of my head.

Sticking my index finger back in my ear the pain subsides.

Un-cuddling again I stumble in the bathroom and, not wanting to wake Sarah, search in the dark for Q-Tips, knocking over numerous unknown items in the cabinet until I find them.

Ripping the box open in the dark, I stick one in my ear, twirl it around for a bit and pull out half my brain.

"JESUS CHRIST," I say in horror, examining the grey matter in the moonlight.

Grabbing a second Q-TIP, I stick it in my ear pulling out equal size chunks of what has to be brains.

"JESUS H. CHRIST!" I mutter now on the forth Q-Tip.

'Hmmmmm," Sarah sensually moans from our bed.

Sitting on the toilet I collect what's left of my thought process.

"CHRIST," I mutter wondering what in the Hell is happening now that there's constant ringing in my ear.

Fumbling around again I find the Peroxide, dip another Q-Tip in it, and stick it in my ear ... which immediately bubbles and gets hot as the Hell I'm wondering about.

"HOLY JESUS MOTHER OF GOD," I say pulling out a glowing Q-Tip.

"Hmmmmm," Sarah moans again.

There are moments in life when you have to decide.

Take care of yourself or sacrifice for others?

Opting for the later I crawl back in bed, resume the cuddling position and start kissing on my wife who moans, "Hmmmmm."

"Thank you JESUS," I whisper.

Though when I woke up this morning my finger was in my ear.