May 2011 marks the 400th anniversary of the translation of the King James Version of the Bible into English. I’m not exactly certain which of the 16 different versions of the King James Bible that we’re actually celebrating but that is not the point. Jesus finally became an American when everything got translated to English!
While it’s only May 7th I’m exhausted from the non-stop parties celebrating the King James Version of the Bible. Every day and every night, it’s something! It seems as I’ve been wearing my robe non-stop since last week! (Of course I don’t mind wearing the robe because it means I don’t have any underwear on.)
Then Sam Adams, who plays damn good live music with Gordon and Davy, called me and asked if I would write some devotions that could be set to music for Bar Church. They will become CDs and distributed to anyone who may actually happen to want one.
Of course I am honored. So I grabbed one of the sixteen different versions of the King James Bible that I have and went to work. Before I wrote a word I got to thinking. “Why are devotionals so freekin’ serious?” I’ve never heard a rip roaring funny devotion. Now Bar Church is a lot of fun so the devotions need to fit the ambiance.
Then I was sharing this with a friend at a King James 400th Anniversary celebration party. The theme of this party was “Which of the sixteen different translations of the King James Bible are we actually celebrating?”
It took us no time at all to figure out why this is a question … editors! They cut, paste, change and do all kinds of stuff. Sixteen different editors mean sixteen different versions.
Then we got to wondering about all of the stuff that got edited out.
Hmmmm…..
I immediately got in touch with Mitch who is an expert on all sixteen versions of the King James Bible. “Surely,” I asked, “the Apostles asked a lot more questions than were included in one the sixteen different versions of the King James Version of the Bible that we are celebrating.”
“Don’t call me Shirley,” Mitch fired back. “Of course they did. I mean think about. They’re all walking down the road and it’s a hot and dusty day. Nobody else is around. This is their opportunity to ask Jesus the stuff they really want to know.”
“You mean the stuff that the editors of the sixteen different versions of the King James Version of the Bible took out?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he said.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “I’ve actually seen the clippings from the scrolls that ended up on the cutting room floor. You wouldn’t believe the insightfulness of the Apostles questions.”
“Really” I was beside myself with anticipation.
“Yep,” Mitch continued. “Like Peter asked right off the bat … Hey Jesus why did you wait until now to turn water into wine?’ We could have used that a long time ago.”
“Makes perfect sense,” I said in admiration of Mitch’s scholarly passions. “What else?”
“Matthew wanted to know why there were no girls in the Club,” he said.
Again I was dumbfounded at the perfectly legitimate question.
“Judas asked, ‘Hey Jesus why do we have to walk everywhere? Can’t we afford a wagon?’”
James asked, “Hey Jesus! Let’s just start a band. You can sing lead!”
Of course Jesus, being Jesus and all, took it all in good stride. He was focused on bigger things saving the world and all. And in the end Jesus proved right on it all.
But you have to admit. Wouldn’t you like to know the answers to the other questions that the Apostle’s asked?
I’m just saying … it’s something to think about on the 400th anniversary of the sixteen different versions of the King James Version of the Bible.
