Monday, April 8, 2013

A song for you

When Chelsea graduated from High School and took off for college I made her a compact disk of songs, as I'd done for her brother Jeremy when it was his time to leave.

I cried both times.

The times they were a'changing.

In Chelsea's case I started with Paul Simon's "Father and Daughter" from the cartoon "The Thornbury's" because she loved it as a child and I would sit there and watch it with her. I didn't give a damn about the cartoon but it made her laugh and I couldn't come up with a better way to say how much I adore her.

After that I went to James Taylor's "This is a song for you, far away from me."

I missed her.

I missed Jeremy.

Kristen stayed near so it wasn't as bad with her but I missed her too.

It would never be the same again.

My children had moved on.

I had too.

Years later, I was sitting sad and lonely in St. Martin of all places. Miles and miles of clear blue skies, aqua blue water, good friends who cared for me when I couldn't care for myself ... those were those days.

Love had left me.

My life's work had too.

There wasn't much of anything left other than paradise.

I'd wake up in the morning and stumble into the waters of Orient Bay and fall forward to find life. Then I'd stumble back, pour myself a cup of coffee, sit under the Banyan Tree and turn on the computer. I'd write what was in my heart which was mostly broken then see whatever anyone had to say.

One morning there was Chelsea sending the song back to me.

"This is a song for you," ... Daddy ... "far away from me."

I cried as much as I've ever cried and sitting there doing so, my friends Conner and Hania strolled by on their way to trade towels and they stopped and sat with me.

Nothing much was said.

Nothing much needed to be.

After a bit we walked together for coffee and to change towels.

But it was Chelsea who carried me.

And her song ... far away from me.