It took several trips and after heaving the first couple of bins inside the poor guy hated seeing me come back with more.
"Sell your bed and buy a book," goes the old Puritan saying to which C.S. Lewis adds, "Just make sure it's a good book."I had lots of good books ... each special in it's own way ... some stuffed full of wisdom while others contain only a kernel ... and I loved them all.
I found most in old bookstores, rummaging for hours before making the right choice ... taking it home ... sitting in my chair ... cracking the binding for the first time ... inhaling the aroma of ink on paper ... grabbing my favorite pen to write my name inside ... making it part of me.
Goodwill's now going to distribute parts of me all over the place for a bargain price!
That's life though right?
There's a time to gather stones and a time to cast stones away.
This is my time to cast away.
Casting away doesn't happen all at once.
The books rested in bins at my Mom's house for almost four years before we hauled them to Goodwill.
I only kept the most special ones ... all of Frederick Buechner and Ernest Hemingway ... Graham Green ... a handful of others.
In time I'll pass them off the kids or the girls ... who'll probably save them for a while out of obligation before ... taking them to Goodwill.
"Did you read all these books?" people asked when entering my office.
"I have," I replied to their disbelief because they believe books are for decorative purposes only.
I suppose each is still part of me somehow because occasionally I'll throw out a quote from one ... or say, "Oh yeah, I read that" ... not remembering what it was about ... though the truth of the matter is I did read it once.
I'm a hoarder though ... attaching significance to things that have long passed being significant ... forever challenging me to throw anything away.
Consequently, I have lots of stupid stuff ... a bobble head doll of a Pope I hate my daughter Chelsea gave me as a joke ... tee shirts from concerts I attended 20 years ago ... a favorite tie I wore at a job I no longer have ... a watch with no hands that simple says "NOW" my friend Terry Ball gave me after a Hurricane ... who knows what else is stuck and forgotten in the boxes, corners and crevices of our house.
The truth is I pay them little attention.
I am a terrible receiver of gifts.
Somehow I read ... or was raised ... that I'm not worthy of them ... which sucks ... because I am ... especially when someone loves me enough to stop everything and do something ... just for me.
I've come to believe that's most of us.
Grace is a hard thing to receive and most really suck at it.
I do.
So I'm working really hard getting rid of meaningless clutter in my life so I can fully appreciate everything that's in it NOW.
Because ... the only thing we really have is NOW.
