Monday, April 25, 2011

Premature

Today there is all of this stuff that I’m supposed to do in town. Homeless guys who are my Face Book friends have been after me forever to see them. Some want advice. Others just want to catch up. One has a business proposition for me and guarantees me big money if I come out of retirement to help him start a Fortune 500 Company.

So I picked a day and it’s today to meet with all of them.

Lunch is with my old friend and accountant Carlton.

Then it’s back to corporate headquarters to finalize stuff which should have been finalized last week (ummmm…Rebekah, exactly where are we?). There is lots of work and planning to do and I have timelines again … sigh …

This is big because I don’t go to Savannah much anymore except for the airport which really belongs to Hilton Head anyway. Hilton Head has also purchased the thunderstorm rights to Tybee so it rains there but not here.

But yesterday I took a nap and woke up with an infected ear. Normally, like most males, I would ignore this knowing that it will either go away or get worse. Either way it would work itself out. But I have to fly to Pittsburgh later this week and remember something about ears blowing up on airplanes if they’re not healthy so I resolved to get in touch with Jerry Williams this morning to make sure I’m not a terrorist threat.

Then I got in my car and the battery was dead.

Hmmmm … Is God trying to tell me something?

So … I hopped on my bike and rode it to the Breakfast Club. Johnny O was back after a week of being on loan to the Legends Golf tournament in Savannah. Over coffee he was telling me all about the tournament and I couldn’t hear anything that he said.

I reframed the entire question about God trying to tell me something. I was being blessed and didn’t know it. So Johnny O talked and I nodded my head not hearing anything that he said. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Lord!

Riding my bike back home, I got to thinking. Are these things signs? Should I be focusing on the things around me rather than the people demanding my attention who are elsewhere? My focus for the past year has been on me, healing and finding my way back to me again.

I was telling my best friend how excited I am about the future and all of the things that I’m ready to do. Hell, Skutch and I had a long funny conversation on the phone Friday (Skutch is like an actor in “B” movie playing a reporter but he really is a reporter and covered me for the past decade.). She told me that it’s nice to see me excited again.

But now I can’t help but wonder … am I being premature about all of this? Is God reminding me to not rush? To completely finish healing before I dive back in to the world and its unrelenting demands? Did God stick her wet finger in my ear to remind me that I’m not quite healed yet?

A few months ago, in a Ft. Lauderdale restaurant Dr. Jane Lowe of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and I were having dinner. She looked at me firmly and said, “Micheal do not rush this Sabbatical. It would be like having heart surgery and then going on one of your five mile runs before you can take it. You’d be far worse off than you are now.”

She’s really the only person to be so blatantly affirming of how I’ve spent the past year. Even now there are all of these people who want me to do things. Or they want to do things with me. I’m being cautious. It seems premature somehow.

My friend Samuel Admas, who plays damn good live music for a living and is the mastermind behind Bar Church, was after me last week to be a part of yesterday’s Easter Sunrise Service on the Pier. As soon as he asked me I said no. So typical Sam he asked me again. I said “Hell no.” He smiled and said “Fine, I’ll text you.”

But I stood in the back yesterday enjoying and watching it all. Tybee Church blew the other churches away (and I can’t get “Amazing Grace” to the tune of “House of the Rising Sun” out of my head. Thanks Sam!).

I was struck though, that I’d made the right decision. As they sang a funky version of “Holy, Holy, Holy” I slipped away. I’ve had my time in the limelight of the crowds. And I’ll have it again. But … now would be premature.

And God can be funny sticking a wet finger in your ear to give it an infection to remind you of the things that are most important.