The Personal Pressure of Facebook

A few years ago, my son Jeremy, Bill Shearouse, Mark Berry and I solved all of the problems of the world on the landing at the Holiday Inn in Athens, Georgia but never told anyone. I was going to share that information in today's blog.

Last night, Johnny O and I figured out how to fix the broken political system in this country. All meetings of elected officials should be held in the nude. Each session should begin with a group hug ... at the local level all the way up to Congress. Given the country's problems I was going to write about that too.

Bill Berry (not the former drummer for REM but the other one) and I once figured out world peace while being chased by Turkish Whores late one night in Prague and it's about time we told the world. I was going to go it today.

BUT ... my wife decided to use Facebook as a manipulative ploy to pressure me into taking her out on a date tonight!

She wrote, "Thinking that maybe with Facebook peer pressure I can convince Micheal Elliott that since I am going off island for the girls soccer practice tonight, we should both go and have an off island date. Support, please ;)"

There are several things I need to say before answering.

For those of you who don't know, "Off Island" is huge! Who the hell wants to go off island when you've spent your entire life trying to get ON Island! There's a certain lack of logic to the entire concept.

Second, it is "Mechanical Bull" bull night at Huck-A-Poo's!

Need I say anything else?

Now I'm distracted by all of these people posting that I'm a terrible husband, will go directly go to hell (though most imply I'm going anyway so it's no big deal) and I'm a selfish, self-centered pig.

I am not a pig.

What everyone doesn't know, because I never had the opportunity to share it, is I was already planning to surprise Sarah with a date. I was going to put on shoes and everything.

Sarah dresses really sexy on dates in tight short skirts and things from Victoria's Secrets so it's hard not to get excited. I've never noticed if she has shoes on or not because I'm preoccupied with other parts of her anatomy. So I was looking forward to surprising her with a date.

BUT NOOOOOOOO ........

Now it will look like I just caved into peer pressure.

Damn Facebook!