It is deja vu. Leaving the house in the predawn of the morning, white Christmas lights are draped over Butler Avenue making me look up. While they seem quite ugly in the daytime, they are serene in the dark. Twinkling stars line the entire length of the street. No one is out as I make my way. The window is cracked and I hear the ocean sing. All is calm. All is bright as another silent night comes to an end.
I remember looking at the same thing last year making my way to the Breakfast Club. It was my first Christmas alone and I slept walked a lot. The lights were always captivating and I remember this morning how I felt then. I'd put up a tree but it was decorated with broken hearts and the only thing underneath it was loneliness. I don't remember much else about it ... there's not much worth remembering. As soon as the family dinner was over I was on a plane to St. Martin.
Stopping the car in the middle of Butler Avenue, I feel last Christmas again ... but just for a moment.
It's all different now. There isn't a tree in the house yet but the place is full of life and happiness. I'm starting all over having thrown away everything that was a decoration before. That was then. This is now.
On Friday night, I played guitar in one of the worst Christmas concerts ever performed in the history of the world. But we had fun and I was surrounded by people who love me and who I love. Afterwards we laughed at ourselves and toasted one another' with Christmas Cheer.
Then on Sunday morning at Bar Church we did the exact same songs and nailed every single one of them ... to perfection. An angel sang. Fingers hit all of the right notes. The vibe was holiness and the community of believers celebrated what we have ... which is just each other. Most were praying like hell to find enough money to cover another month's rent and buy Christmas stuff on top of that!
Last night I sat with dear friends. We had eaten and were just sitting there ... trying to figure out Christmas. Everybody will be scattered to and fro upon the face of the earth though we'd much rather just hang out together. If the weather's nice enough on Christmas, we'll go skinny dipping and baptize ourselves in the pools of Babylon.
Then we talked late into the night. Hearts were purposely opened and we walked inside. Reflections were shared. Encouragement given. There were radiant beams from thy holy face. All was calm ... all was bright.
The car stopped in front of the Breakfast Club and I stumbled into the glories that stream from heaven afar ... and had coffee. It was warm and cozy with the dawn of redeeming grace.
I have a lot to do today so I went to leave earlier than I normally do.
"Don't leave," Nancee protested and it was the nicest way to have start a Monday. We hugged and everyone shouted greetings of good tidings and cheer.
Back at the love of our house, I gave Goddess a treat and discovered that there was no hot water. Hmmm. Mondays can trump Christmas?
Now I'm staring at this long list of things to do. Each has an incredibly short deadline
But it was the best of weekends. Shepherds would quake at how good it was.
So if this is reinventing Christmas ... then so far, so good!
