Friday, April 12, 2013

Crush


The drive to the Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport (an oxymoron) was the same as always except I was dropping off a child for school, had to rush by the ATM and then caught every single red light between Tybee Island and Port Wentworth, Georgia. There are 16 red lights.

Consequently, I was the last person to board the plane which was of course delayed because of Air Traffic Control in Atlanta whose primary job is to delay flights. It used to be that Delta was ready when you are but now it’s the other way around.

I’m giving a speech at Morehouse Medical School today.

Then I’m flying back this afternoon so I can get back to Tybee in time for Orange Crush.

Orange Crush is an unplanned, unorganized event with no sponsors that annually draws thousands of kids, mostly from colleges to party on the beach. There will be an equal number of police officers setting up a command center in one of the parking lots so that fewer kids will have a place to park.

The kids will drive around looking for parking which isn’t there while the police direct them to leave the island. Those who do find parking will go to the beach and, just like on Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day, trash it.

Of these holidays, Orange Crush is by far my favorite.

The kids dress scantily, deck out their cars for cruising and engage in public displays of affection. What’s not to love?

Well … most residents are restricted to their homes because there’s no possible way to back out of their drive ways. Even if they could, there’s nowhere to go because the police directing people off the island bring traffic to a complete standstill. The entire island becomes as gridlocked as Congress.

I don’t mind. I’ll stock up on provisions and sit on the beloved back deck and listen to it all. Sarah and I will likely take a stroll to witness some of the mayhem.

We won’t have a lot of time because Orange Crush is the perfect time to have a wedding on the beach which is what Caroline from the Breakfast Club has planned. Johnny O and I have been wondering for days how we are going to get from one end of the island to the other.

If Frank Schuman were still alive, he and his lovely wife Jamie could take us on jet skis around the mayhem and just drop us off. Alas, that is not possible this year.

It’s also the Tybee Wine Festival this weekend. Lots of folks have purchased tickets to get smashed on the island. 

They won’t be able to drive home afterwards further contributing to the islands traffic problems and eating up precious parking for the Orange Crush crowd.

It makes me wonder.

Is Air Traffic Control in Atlanta the same group that Tybee City leadership (another oxymoron) has contracted with to plan traffic access on and off the island?

It’s food for thought.

Have a great weekend everyone!

I know that I will.

Assuming I get out of Atlanta.