She didn't go to the Dark Side ... she died.
Dying is the natural conclusion to living.
I love my kids and want to be there for them but ...their Grandmother is not part of who I am anymore ... that was then ... this is now.
Except she was a funny woman I enjoyed ... I think she enjoyed me ... and there are some nice memories.
The world has lost a little more because she's gone on to whatever's next ... and whatever it is ... she'll clutter it up in no time ... while laughing.
I worry about my kids though.
They're all different about dealing with death.
One's emotionally accepting ... another hates it because it means more change in her life ... and the last is stoic in an almost Buddhist sort of way.
I believe in them and they'll get through it but ... "once a parent always a parent" and I love them with everything in me and would take the hurt away if I could.
But I can't.
Besides they'll all adults now ... not that it matters to me ... because they'll forever be my kids ... and when I think about them it's most often in some crazy way ... where they're still kids.
If it's not bad enough ... my son's fiancée loses her Grandmother at the same time ... she has two young girls who are being exposed to death for the first time ... so that's not going well.
As this happens, Sarah, the girls and I head to a Willie Nelson concert for a happy night ... which we have.
We've got our own issues ... cash flow isn't what it should be ... bills mount ... the girls are talking about moving in with us full time ... controversy happens in the tiniest of churches ... and Flood Insurance is due and it's ridiculously expensive because it's administered by Government.
But none of these equate with D.E.A.T.H.
Nor the vacancy it leaves behind.
I'm trying to keep it all in perspective today.
Mostly I'm thinking about my kids.
And celebrating everything I have in my life today.
Because the reality is death is life's Grand Finale ... and then whatever's next.
