Sunday, November 28, 2010

Coming Back

I am back to full time Sabbatical beginning today; meaning that I am home for the next month with no planned trips at this point. During the summer months, from July through September this is what life was for me and Goddess as I worked through the things that people work through when they are on Sabbatical.

It was just a shame that it came two-and-a-half years after it was desperately needed but a Board Chairmen who chooses to remain anonymous (God forbid someone find out who he is and the decisions he’s made) and wiser men than me knew better. So I didn’t.

Since listening to them I’ve lost a wife, relationships with many people that I trusted, loved and had long-term relationships and I left a thirty-one year career which was part of some pretty significant things.

Now I resume … gathering my thoughts as I was recently told by one of the sages.

Except tomorrow I have lots to do. First there are tons of personal things that I simply haven’t paid much attention too over the past, oh … year. I started a couple of weeks ago and the stack is getting smaller but Chelsea’s car insurance ended up in never- never land and our health insurance is suddenly at risk (which is most ironic as one of the things I’m known for is taking health care to people who had none! I’ve won national awards for it and gave a hundred thousand dollars to Union Mission to advance its efforts because of it. Yet here I sit. Exposed!)

Most full time Beach Bums don’t have health insurance; so why should I be any different. Pretty funny huh?

There is a looming Christmas that I have to get myself through.

And there is a lot of “work” things that I have to do. There are twenty-two grants to read. My Atlanta “client” is coming to see me. Rebekah has a long list of things that suddenly have time lines. There are trips to plan in January and February.

More importantly, my friend Conner called me the other night and told me that he needs me to “help with words” at the memorial service for his father who died last week. I never met Conner’s Dad but feel like I have after years of stories. Plus I would do anything for Conner and Hania.

Both of us would likely pay good money to reconstruct whatever it was we did in New Orleans last month. We’ll likely find out when we stand in front of the throne of Judgment and God leans over and says, “Really?”

I hope that Conner and I are standing beside one another when this happens as I know that we will look at one another and then we will look at God and then we will both say at the same time … “Wha?”

In honesty, the Sabbatical is over as much as I wish that it could linger. The past is dead and gone and it is never coming back again. I am proud of the things that I’ve accomplished, cherished whom I’ve loved, and only have a few regrets; though the ones that I do have haunt me from time to time.

There are pieces of the past that go with me into the future though I am surprised at how small that package is. I’m also surprised at who those friends are marching with me to what will be. And the circle of those whom I love came from … nowhere … from God and after Conner and I are done explaining New Orleans I will thank her profusely.

So I have to go to work. It is a brave new world. I am doing things that I’ve never done before. I am gambling everything that I have with the belief that it will all work out for the best. I feel good about it.

I pause and think to myself, “Wait! What is different about this? It is how I have always lived.”

I don’t feel any doubt, except for fleeting moments in the middle of the night, but I chase these thoughts away and climb out of bed with a “Kick Ass” attitude; probably pretty much the same attitude that Jesus had when they nailed him on the cross.

“Go ahead! Crucify me! I’ll be back!”

So because I love all of the people who read this I want you to be the first to know.

I’m almost back.

Count on it.