Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Tybee Island Normal

Every fall Mike Hosti puts on the sign at the IGA "Back to Normal" because the tourists supposedly have left. The letter "R" is always backwards. Tybee Island could then slip back into its normal, laid back lifestyle.

It's not that way now. Tourist season is upon us and for those of you who aren't here but have any interest whatsoever of what's going on, here are the things that happened on Tybee Island yesterday.

Cheryl Sadowsky, owner of the world famous Breakfast Club was accosted by Honey Boo Boo's body guard at The Crab Shack and her drink was knocked to the ground causing lots of locals to burst into tears. A prayer vigil for the spilled drink is currently being planned. Cheryl is shaken but word is that a full recovery is expected.

Honey Boo Boo is apparently on the island though nobody gives a shit other than her body guard.

The Tybee Island Parking Service Nazi-mobile drove through a Pedestrian crosswalk full of people at 35 Miles per hour apparently in a rush to give someone a ticket.

Morning beach combers discovered that at least twenty-seven couples made love in the sand dunes last night and collected left behind articles of clothing and condoms (we recycle!).

My friend and partner Wen McNally did a Zombie photo shoot on the Pier last night during one hell of a thunderstorm which is something you just don't see every day. As her husband Sean points out though, the state of Georgia produces more Zombies than any other state and I agree with him. TO find out for yourself just visit the Georgia State Capitol in Atlanta when the legislature is convened.

My friend Keith was hit by a truck and taken to the Emergency Room where he immediately called Ken Nugent whose motto is "One Call! That's All." He didn't call his family because he doesn't want them to know if any impending litigation is successful.

There was a long line of tourists at The Breakfast Club at 6:45 this morning prompting the astute observation, "If I'm on vacation the last damn thing I'm doing is getting up early to stand in line to have breakfast."

Obviously having stepped away from the pipe, Johnny O went to work ten minutes early.

That's a lot of activity for twenty-four hours.

Let's see what happens today.