Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Mitt Romney and Tybee Foreign Policy

When I wasn't watching Monday night football or the conclusion of the incredible comeback of the Giants against the Cardinals or stealing glances of Sarah in her nighties, I'd watch the final Presidential debate. Immediately I was stuck by a couple of things.

I think President Obama and Mitt Romney use the same mortician. They both looked dead. At the same time, the economy remains a mess so they probably went in together to split the cost of hiring somebody to make them look good. They both looked awful.

The focus of the debate was foreign policy. They talked about Libya, Israel, Egypt, the military, and how many jobs they would both create (which has nothing to do with the topic but they didn't seem to care).

The most interesting thing was when Mitt Romney said we get the American economy going again by opening up trade relationships with Central America. He claims its as big a market as China and jobs will get created if we open up those markets.

Now I know America has a lot of shit people in Central America want. Blue jeans, cars, I-pads, Bose speaker systems for the cars, X Boxes, videos of Glee and boxes of Animal Crackers. Who doesn't want that stuff?

But what does Central America have to trade in order to get these things?

Mitt Romney knows ... Opium!

It's their biggest crop and I heard Mitt saying last night that Poppy is apparently good for the American economy.

I didn't like him before and I've actually met him once but I started warming up to him during the debate.

Let's be honest we haven't had a great President since Bill Clinton. Bill knew how to have a good time in the White House! The man can multitask! Balance the budget, create a surplus, smoke a cigar and make oral sex popular ALL AT THE SAME TIME! We haven't had enough Presidents who know how to have a good time. I think we have a new possibility.

Mitt Romney may be on to something after all with this Central American thing. Let's keep being honest. We have terrible relationships with the Middle East. It's like going to supper with a family of people who hate each other.

The Euro continues to kick the dollar's butt, we really don't really care about Africa and China spends all of its time counting the interest of how much we owe them.

With the opium market opened in America, we wouldn't care. AND TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER, Romney wouldn't tax like Obama would!

Does it get any better?

I'd sworn off politics but am suddenly interested again. Regardless of the elections outcome, I'm going to call Mayor Buelterman on Tybee Island where I live and ask him what our foreign policies are? We're surrounded by the ocean thereby exposed to possible attack by other countries. We must have a foreign policy. Most of the people who work in hotels here are from other countries!

But I'm especially interested in what is Tybee Island's relationship with Central American countries. It could be good for the island.

Really good!

It would be a great high for every American regardless of political persuasion.