Telling My Story

"MIKE! Did you do it?"

"No' mam," I replied.

That's probably how my story telling career actually began though I don't recall the specific incident. It could have been a lot of things.

"Did you steal all of the American flags out of the school?

"Did you steal all of the fire extinguishers out of the Mill over the Viaduct?"

"Did you and Gene Prevatt hitchhike to Tybee and go to Doc's Bar?"

"Were you caught in the Baptismal Pool at Church with a girl?"

"Did you and Gene Prevatt start a riot at Groves yesterday?"

"You want to tell me why the Police picked you up at Softball practice and brought you home?"

The answer was always, "No'mam."

Later when I went to Seminary, I learned to use adverbs and lots of adjectives which have proven to be significant additions to my story telling capabilities.

"Mike did you just hurl your Greek book outside of the second story window and almost hit Guy Sayles as you did it?"

"Hell no, Professor Olmanson. I know not of which you speak. I was studying my Sunday School lesson."

After I graduated I spent a great deal of time at the state Capitol in Atlanta and in Congress where the art of story telling has been perfected. These places taught me that you never need the whole truth when you speak. Half-a-truth will do. AND! ... if you wear a suit when you tell your story more people will believe what you're telling them.

PLUS! ... I live on Tybee Island where Police lie, bicycles get drunk but not their riders, and the Baptist Church proclaims that they "really do love everybody! Honest! We do love those filthy, rotten sinners who go to Fannie-on-the-beach and Doc's Bar!"

Each of these have taught me one of life's most valuable lessons. Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story.

It should come as no surprise then that I now work for a company called "Let Us Tell It." Our tag line is "You have a story. Let Us Tell it!"

Pretty good huh?

We have a code of ethics though. If you get caught in bed with several people other than your spouse then no matter how many stories we tell, it's not going to help. We're not going to take you on as a client. Pretty much anything else goes though.

Anyway, I appreciate you taking the time to review my experience and credentials for our company.

Have a great day!

Even you Baptists who frequent Fannies-on-the-beach and Doc's Bar!