Car Pooling ... Seriously ... Freaking Car Pooling

I was so happy when Jeremy was born. For a lot of reasons. I have a son! He's beautiful (looking a lot like his old man)! Smart and dapper! He is simply excellent! AND ... it would only be fifteen years before he could drive!!!!! I salivated ... in just a decade and a half ... I wouldn't have to drive anymore. I would let him! I would kick back on the passenger side, grooving on tunes, drinking beers and telling him which turn to take. Does it get any better? When the magic day finally arrived, Jeremy tried to thwart these plans when he was fifteen by claiming that he couldn't drive a stick shift. I didn't care. After waiting fifteen years, he was driving from Savannah to Athens for the Beloved Dawgs of Georgia football game. Honestly, I think he got away with it for a week or so, but after fifteen years of investment on my part, his little ass was driving. And it did. He'd lied about the whole stick shift thing. This wonderful period in my life began. Jeremy drove me everywhere only to be replaced by Kristen. Krissy did wreck multiple vehicles as I taught her how to drive at a Bumper Car extravaganza one weekend in Daytona Beach. She was followed by Chelsea who is the safest driver in the family ... having mostly learned from her fiancee Sam who drives slower than the slowest person who has ever driven. Then my children did the most horrible thing! They grew up and left! Suddenly, I was forced to drive again. It sucked. Slowly ... over time ... with therapy ... I got used to it. I'd listen to tunes and pretend that I was telling one my children which way to turn or cursing an imaginary child when they missed the left. Eventually, I got pretty good at it and actually enjoyed driving the Tybee Road through the marsh, with the expansive views of the ocean and where the Savannah River meets the sea. Shrimp boats, egrets, seagulls and dolphins are exclamation points that still take my breath away. Then Sarah and I got married. Three little girls need to go to school every day. I'm a morning person. I should have seen this coming but I did not. It's just like when Jeremy tried to lie his way through it by claiming that he couldn't drive a stick when he could. Sure, the oldest little girl is only ten but ... I could care less. I'm driving the morning carpool! Forced to listen to crappy music, forever tardy in leaving for school, gummy bears and feminine hygiene products left scattered throughout my car. I'm carpooling because I love Sarah ... yes! ... freaking carpooling ... without good music ... or beer! "God," I pray. "What did I do? I tried to be good. I really love you and promise that I'll eventually make it back to church. Please get me through this period of trials and tribulations. Thank you for cuss words. Amen." BUT ... in only five more years Maddie get's her learner's permit ... then the good times are going to roll again. My feet propped on the dashboard ... radio playing my tunes ... top down ... beer in hand ... on the way to somewhere good ... telling her where to turn and to slow the damn thing down! I love my kids!