There are truths in everything though not all truths are created equal.
Some are more important than others.
This is one.
I think marriages fail like they do because once we see the imperfections, frailties, faults and shortcomings of those we love ... well ... acceptance is a hell of a lot harder. Instead of building on a preponderance of wonderful things held in common, we exaggerate the bad.
Most often its because we have very particular and concrete notions of what our relationships should be. When they're not ... it's the partner's fault. We believe in our notions more than we believe in spouses with faults.
I Love you. You're perfect. Now change!
A great Off-Broadway musical centered on this theme though the reality is we don't really change. Perhaps a little here and there but for the most part we are who we are. The thing in successfully relationships with anybody is acceptance.
Let me give you an example.
I'm not a farter.
Well, everybody farts but I'm a private farter. I don't know why but I am.My Dad was a public farter and made jokes about it. He would be walking across the room, fart and then jump off the ground exclaiming, "I stepped on a frog." It always made me laugh as a kid though I never became a public farter.
Now my wife doesn't mind sharing her farts. At first I thought she stepped on a box of frogs but she's just being her. I accept that and even comment on them now.
"Feel better?"
And the funny thing is I really mean it. I want the best for her. I want her to feel better about everything. Even farts.
Now she will say that I fart in my sleep which I don't believe for a second. I think its her way of retaliating because I'm so nice about her PDF's ... Public Displays of Farting, like when politicians speak. But that's not the point.
The point is we accept each other.
And love is all about accepting one another.
