Saturday, March 23, 2013

Her Bucket List

"Hey Man," I said preparing to enter the ring. "Throw me off fast so my wife can get on. It's on her bucket list."

He looked at me questioning.

"It's not on my bucket list. I'm doing it for her."

He smiled as I climbed into the blow up farm with the mechanical bull. It took me several moments to climb on top of the thing but I did with the encouragement of my friends.

Franklin, who is brown, was screaming at me but I never understood anything he was saying.

His brother T.J., who is also brown, was calling me an old man and it is true that I was the oldest person who'd tried to stay on the white and black thing so far.

Grayson, who is white, shook his head and told me that I should be wearing my black running shorts like I always do.

Frank Shuman screamed, "Hold on! I need my camera! Don't start yet!"

It started and two seconds later I was bouncing on the inflatable cow field.

When I exited, Sarah entered and while she was climbing on bull, the man running the thing grabbed me by the shoulder.

"Hey man! You do your wife."

So I did.

"Sarah," I screamed as I began turning the knob that turned the bull.

"That's not fair," she screamed.

If she said anything else, I never heard her. I was laughing too hard as I controlled the bull up and down, twirled it to the left and then the right, forced it forward and backward. Then I got happy fingers and went a little crazy spinning it in circles.

A minute after she'd began, Sarah went flying in the direction of Franklin, who is brown. Jumping forward he gave no indication whatsoever of trying to catch her or help her up. He just stared at her expectantly.

"I was hoping her boobs would fall out of her shirt," he later explained.

They didn't so he drank another beer.

Now Sarah can cross another one off her bucket list.

As she does so, I notice that sky diving is next understanding for the first time that she's kept the bucket list from me until after we were married.