The Cave Inside my Heart

Walking through the aisles of The Tybee Market, I see recognition flash in the old man's blue eyes and a smile break across his face. He's pushing a grocery cart, wearing white Bermuda shorts and a matching shirt. White hair, white socks and tennis shoes completed the ensemble. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Hello Tom," I said stopping in front of him, holding Orange Juice and Garlic Salt. It had been two years since I've seen him. It had been a different world. I was President of Union Mission then and everything about it was intense. Tom and I had spent a lot of time together raising millions of dollars and managing politics at every level. Countless hours were spent sitting in my office along with Herb McKenzie planning, plotting and evaluating how we had done. We took elected officials out for breakfast asking for their votes. We took them to lunch and went to their political fundraisers, making contributions to their re-election efforts, and letting them use our names as endorsements. We did this because that's how the game is played. Tom knew these things because he had been one. A County Commission Chairman, a State Senator, and the Director of a State Agency. Once in front of the County Commission, he lost his cool and lectured them before storming off back to his seat. It was amazing to watch. He had already accomplished everything that they aspired to, so they sat there like school children being scolded by the Principal. Of course, we won the battle that day ... though it would be another year before we won the war. Then I left Union Mission somewhere between the battle and the end of the war. I was burned out, tired and sad. I could still come up with the ideas but was increasingly viewed as a liability. Honestly, I should have left earlier but I'm not a quitter. So they quit me. This was almost two years ago and, though I've seen his picture in the paper a few times as I sipped coffee at The Breakfast Club, we hadn't seen each other since. His eyes grew moist ... which surprised me. And we embraced in the middle of a crowded Tybee Market. "It is good to see you Micheal," he said with his cheek against my cheek. My eyes grew moist. And that was it. It took me a good half hour to suppress all of the unresolved feelings I have about those times back into the cave deep inside of my heart. Then I walked outside into the bright sunshine of a new life marveling at the scars I still carry from the old one.