Filling in the blank

Sarah and I are sitting in Bill Shearouse's office doing our will.

"Let's discuss the final arrangements," Bill suggests dripping in dignity while working but we know better.

"Well," I quickly respond ready to be done, "I'm being cremated."

Sarah's head jerks in my direction.

"What?" she asks. "I'm going to be buried."

"Just throw my ashes in her casket," I say. "It'll be like a two-for-one service ... 50% off ... besides I'll be dead ... so I won't care."

That was a few years ago and Sarah and I haven't revisited the topic ... though as it currently stands ... according to Bill ... if I go first ... I have to be kept somewhere until Sarah dies and someone ... I assume it'll be Laurel the 10 year old ... throws my ashes on top of her casket.

It could be Sarah's casket is still open when I'm thrown in but I don't know if that's wishful thinking or not.

She may be over me and not want me anymore ... especially in eternity.

It could be she's in love with someone after I'm gone and I get bumped in the whole funeral arrangement plan.

I've seen it happen before.

Regardless, my preference is to be with her into eternity.

But that is not the point.

I've been thinking about my obituary.

The Savannah Morning News charges like $350 for a nice one with a color photograph of what I used to look like before I died.

I don't care anything about that.

Nor do I want our children writing my obituary ... that'll just cause angst ... they'll screw it up ... and they've got enough to worry about without having to worry about me ... especially when I'm dead.

So ...

I want a blank box in the  Savannah Morning News with my name at the top ... I don't care about when I was born and when I died ... just my name's fine ... followed by the instructions ... "FILL IN THE BLANK."

I know what I did and didn't do ... it'll be interesting to see what other people write.

If they write anything at all.

My only concern is how much The Savannah Morning News charges for empty space.

Of course I won't be around to read it so ...  oh I don't care ... it'll still be funny.

Unless it costs too much ... then Sarah should save the money and do something nice for herself for putting up with me like se does.