Friday, September 4, 2015

Maddie and ME

"God it is such a bitch to love you!"

I'm talking to Maddie, the 13 year old, who wants to go to Starbucks, which I don't care for and it's 15 minutes out of the way and I want to go home.

"Thanks," she replies without looking at me because she's texting ... which is what she always does.

Ten minutes later she's slurping a Frappe in one hand while continuing to text with the other as we fight over who owns the radio.

She likes CRAP!

I like music!

"There's not a live musician on that song," I exclaim as she makes me listen to "Worth It" ... a lame piece of lyric about a girl wanting to get laid.

"There is too," she replies while continuing to slurp and text.

When the excuse for a song mercifully ends, I hit the button and listen to the band "Stories" sing "Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-I" blasts from the speakers.

"What is that about?" Maddie asks loudly drowning out the music with her slurps.

"Seriously?" I ask, almost driving into the Marsh. "For Christ's sake Mad it's about an interracial love affair in the middle of integration."

"What's integration?" she slurps while texting.

"Do you listen to the words of the songs you listen to?"

"Why?"

'Enough said," I sigh.

She hits the button as I turn onto Jones Avenue and am forced to endure the sounds of Nicki Minaj.

"What's this about"" I ask as she sings along no longer texting.

"I dunno," she answers.

Screeching into the driveway at 45 miles/hour I cut the radio off as quickly as humanely possible.

Maddie meanders inside leaving me to unload two weeks worth of groceries.

When I finish she's spread out on the sofa, texting and watching the Disney Channel which I hate almost as much as Nicki Minaj.

"Did I tell you it's bitch to love you?" I ask over the loudness of the canned laugh tracks.

"Yeah," she says without looking up ... "I love you too."

And I just melt.

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