Give and Take

It's become apparent the more I give, the longer it takes me to recover.

People are going to take and that remains one of life's constants ... like taxes and death.

Takers take.

But givers ... well ... we wear out over time.

Like great Athletes far passed their prime, we think we still have it in us ... and like them ... we don't ... and it's apparent for everyone to see.

We do it in short bursts whereas we used to be distant runners.

Back in the day, it was an amazing almost thirty year run of consistently giving to others believing I was helping God make the world a better place.

And truthfully we did ... for some.

Looking back on it, I did lots of wonderful and fantastic things and, in those moments, things got better ... for a little while.

Then things went back to being the same ... waiting on someone else to make them better.

These days, a few remember the glories of what used to be, but don't really care because it's not helping anything now.

I'm pretty ingenious at making things work, getting others to help and ... at least for a moment ... making things better.

Did it again yesterday.

Today I'm completely wiped out because of it.

What used to be a deep Ocean of compassion is becoming a shallow pond.

"You're like the frigging Energizer Bunny," Monty Parks says to me.

"You should have seen me in my day," I think but don't say. "I was relentless ... now I'm spastic."

I can still knock it out of the park but it takes a couple of days for me to recover.

Sitting in the floor, Sarah plays with my hair while we mindlessly watch television, waiting on our baby to be born and ... the excitement, tantalizing, erotic feel of fingers ... are everything I need.

The moment is perfect ... I am content ... she gives ... and I take.

We're watching an old movie where Indiana Jones finally breaks through to get the Holy Grail and there's an old Knight who's been guarding it for centuries.

Standing up the grey Knight holds up his sword to defend the Holiness and ... falls over backwards because of the weight.

I now know that feeling.

Yesterday was special as we hit another one out of the park ... or across the Sea as the case may be ... but we're paying for it today.

If only my phone would stop buzzing with the vibrations of so many needing so much.