Cheerful Living

Goddess is staring at me intently.

Rain is pouring down outside and the canopy of green in the back yard drip with water. Thunder rumbles in the sky. It is dark inside of the house and I have lights on which normally never happens during daylight hours with all of the windows in this house.

Thunder claps.

Goddess stares at me intensely.

In contrast to this reality, the music is blaring from the Bose with happy beach music. For my birthday, my friend Judi Ross made these four CD’s of non-Jimmy Buffett beach music. Jim Morris is singing, admonishing me to “Pretend Your in Tahiti” dancing in the sand with topless girls.

And in my head I am in Tahiti doing exactly that. The rolling thunder simply makes me want to go more. “I like my ocean warm and blue and a little bit wavy.” And it is true that I do. Passionately!

“Give me a beach where there’s nobody there, plenty to drink and nothing to wear!” Now we talking!

“I’m addicted to the tropical life, nobody save me!”

And I am suddenly struck by the analogy. Outside it is pouring rain and dark and thunder rolls. It is nasty; much like a great many things in my life over the past few years. There has been betrayal and sadness and unwanted changes and the uncertainty of what is next.

Inside though, the sun is shinning and the water is aqua-blue-green and 75 degrees is about as cold as it gets. Who needs shoes? Who needs laundry? It’s just another bill to pay! And the beach music plays and my friends and I dance in the sand to the songs of the sea.

I am not yet where I want to be. I’ve had to navigate too “many potholes in the road to cheerful living.” But dammit it is going to be cheerful living that I end up with. I managed way too much sadness in my life. I’ve had way too much. I want the serendipity of sunshine, blue skies, ocean breezes where cold never comes near my heart.

So the rain pours and the thunder rolls while I dance around my kitchen, happy and warm and safe and determined.

And I think that this is why Goddess is staring at me so intently.