Sarah's home, having a few minutes there alone, which never happens.
Because the Y's right around the corner, and I'm feeling pretty good, I brought Che to the birthday party she's attending.
We're fifth in line as the newly hired receptionist helps navigate people to where they want to go.
We're just standing there.
"I would like to register for the LIVE STRONG program," a woman announces, unleashing my curiosity, as I've twice graduated from the program designed to help cancer survivors maintain their physical and mental health.
The woman is finely dressed, not for the gym but perhaps for Church, or a luncheon in a private, exclusive club.
The receptionist has no idea what's LIVE STRONG.
"Maybe you can find it online," she hopefully offers.
The woman retains perfect posture as she sighs and ponders.
I want to reach out, touch her arm, introduce myself and tell her about my experiences, which were great.
But I don't.
There's simply not enough energy for me to muster up to do anything other than hold Che's hand waiting in line, give Sarah a few precious minutes and be proud of myself for doing so.
It's been forever since I've been the responsible parent, and I'm relishing every second like it's the last chance I'm ever going to have.
"I'm sorry," the new receptionist tells her.
The woman turns, mutters she'll do it another way, and walks right past me leaving.
I could easily have touched her.
I could have reassured her, and given her a most enthusiastic and heartfelt recommendation for a program that literally helps extend life.
But I have no more to give.
I check us in, walk Che to the pool party suddenly exhausted, and in a hurry return home.
When I arrive, Sarah's on the sofa so I immediately join her, and we talk.
The Celebration of Life is over now but the death hasn't occurred yet, and I am most grateful there is a tiny after party of almost exclusively, Sarah, Che and me.
That's all we're capable of managing these days.
Reaching out overwhelms me now and I can't help like I used to, which was second nature, but it's not who I am now.
Yet I've never been more content, satisfied and happy as we enjoy ourselves as best we can until my death occurs.
In the meantime, I'm most grateful that I had my Celebration of Life now rather than later.
It's been Heavenly.
Who wants to leave Heaven?
Not me.
Not yet.
********
My Celebration is mostly done while Sarah and Che have a whole new life together, coming soon
You can be part of their future at https://gofund.me/ffda4f4b
The woman retains perfect posture as she sighs and ponders.
I want to reach out, touch her arm, introduce myself and tell her about my experiences, which were great.
But I don't.
There's simply not enough energy for me to muster up to do anything other than hold Che's hand waiting in line, give Sarah a few precious minutes and be proud of myself for doing so.
It's been forever since I've been the responsible parent, and I'm relishing every second like it's the last chance I'm ever going to have.
"I'm sorry," the new receptionist tells her.
The woman turns, mutters she'll do it another way, and walks right past me leaving.
I could easily have touched her.
I could have reassured her, and given her a most enthusiastic and heartfelt recommendation for a program that literally helps extend life.
But I have no more to give.
I check us in, walk Che to the pool party suddenly exhausted, and in a hurry return home.
When I arrive, Sarah's on the sofa so I immediately join her, and we talk.
The Celebration of Life is over now but the death hasn't occurred yet, and I am most grateful there is a tiny after party of almost exclusively, Sarah, Che and me.
That's all we're capable of managing these days.
Reaching out overwhelms me now and I can't help like I used to, which was second nature, but it's not who I am now.
Yet I've never been more content, satisfied and happy as we enjoy ourselves as best we can until my death occurs.
In the meantime, I'm most grateful that I had my Celebration of Life now rather than later.
It's been Heavenly.
Who wants to leave Heaven?
Not me.
Not yet.
********
My Celebration is mostly done while Sarah and Che have a whole new life together, coming soon
You can be part of their future at https://gofund.me/ffda4f4b
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